Thank You Falettinme Be Mice Elf

Tied to the whippin' post... Tied to the whippin post... Oh lord I feel like Im dyin.. Sometimes I feel , some times I feel...... like i'm tied...to the whippin post... tied to the whippin post.... Oh lord I feel like i'M dyin'.... I love the Allman Bros band ... Sweet Melissa... what ever shall I do...

"When I grow up I want to be a principle, or a caterpillar."

It's been a long, long... long time... I have missed you.
Questionatory Thinkamabobber--> Why in the heck has it taken me so long to write a new post, OH! and what the hell am I ever going to do with my life... of course that's assuming that I will someday actually have a life. Well, here goes nothin!! Brace yourselves, its the list to end all lists!!! well, at least until my next blog entry...
Why I have taken forever to write a blog post and other stuff about my life as of late:

Tantalizing Tidbit #1: Well, this really isn't very "tantalizing" so to speak, but I figured I'd start out with the most boring of my list entries. One of the reasons I have not updated my blog in eons is that our computer decided to become schitzophrenic for about two weeks. Now granted, that only accounts for two weeks of my month and a half long hiatus from the blog,but it at least provides somewhat of an excuse and it did also provide me with hours of enjoyment listening to my dad cuss at the computer and be at the mercy of some tech support guy from HP for hours on end. Hmmm... You say it sounds like there's an axe to grind there... that I probably shouldn't chuckle every time I hear "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M CLICKING, IT JUST SAYS SYSTEM ERROR, DAMN IT!"... that just possibly there's tensions mounting between a certain overbearing, controlling, nosy, unsympathetic father and his daughter...?! Maybe.

T.T. #2 : Now that that bit of insanity is out of the way, let me delve deeper into the real reason why I haven't been able to squeeze a drop of creativity out of myself for a month. One of the biggest reasons why I haven't been able to write is that I have been suffering from a debilitating case of Blog Performance Anxiety. Otherwise know as B.P.A., it can be triggered by multiple factors, including the intimidating awesomeness of other peoples blogs, the lack of anything even remotely amusing occurring in one's life, and the fear that the audience will not think the material is interesting, become agitated, and hunt me down with torches and pitchforks shouting "Burn the monster, find her, she is so lame!!". There are medications that can treat B.P.A., but since they all cause itching, dry mouth, fatigue, anal leakage, dyslexia, projectile vomiting, and sexual side effects, I figured I was better off trying to heal on my own. Hopefully, my writing today means that I am on the road to recovery.

T.T.#3: I've also had a bit of difficulty writing because I have been in such a huge funk lately that my cloud of negative energy could probably be seen from space. I think I'll have to break this Tidbit down a little in order to make it more readable; call it a list within a list... oooo yeah, I think I like that. Here goes, the list I have been dreading, its been a leading cause of my B.P.A. and other mental disorders lately... its.... the "What the hell is wrong with me list" (or sublist if you will):

(A @;( My car has been trying to make me lose my mind, and this is more than the just regular anxiety about the noisy fan and the tortoise like speed of my car, this is the kind of stuff that makes you want to start screaming and never, ever stop. Let me just give a short summary of the insanity. One blissful evening as I was innocently driving home from work, everything in my car suddenly started to flicker poltergeist style after which my radio cut out, and an annoying dinging sound started(you know the noise your car makes when you leave you keys in the ignition, that annoying ding ding ding ding...aaaaahhhh) and would not stop.

This little electrical storm caused my dome light, power windows, and power locks to also go belly up. $100 later I had the electrical short traced to my power antenna and everything was "fixed". All seemed well for a while and then one day my radio died again and my dome light only worked when I would open the back doors, not the front doors. I decided I could live without a radio, or a dome light for a while, and so I put off going back to get it fixed. Soon though odd things started happening again. My windows stared to only work when I had my car in a certain gear, and not the same one everytime, sometimes I can roll them down in reverse, sometimes I have to be in park, and sometimes I have to turn my car off and start it again to get the windows to roll down at all, heheheahahahaha..... My car has also been revving itself a lot while I'm sitting in park, which also leads me to believe my car contains the angry spirit of someone I wronged in a past life.

Well it turned out that it was actually my radio that was causing all the hubbub and that it was completely shorted out, making it beyond fixable. The greasemonkey couldn't find anything wrong with my power windows or my dome light though, interesting. I must be hallucinating or something I guess. But anyway, the silence on the 40 minute drive to work was beginning to make me batty so I commandeered a small transistor radio that belongs to my dad. Unfortunately, trying to drive and listen to music on a transistor radio is about the most absurd thing one can ever attempt. If you can actually manage to find a station that comes in at all, you will make yourself half insane trying to keep it from fading out, as every time you pass a semi-truck, telephone pole, overpass, stoplight, or kid with braces, the station turns to static. The other day I was absolutely overjoyed when I got the Nelly/Kelly Rowland song to come in for more than two minutes. Sob... sob...sob...sniffle...

My driver's side window has now also decided to only go down about an inch and a half before it runs into something inside of my door that makes a horrible crunching noise and causes the speaker bulge out. I don't know what kind of a calamity went on inside my door in the thirty minutes between the time I put up my window and then went to put it down again, just lucky I guess.

Now, none of these problems make it so that I can't drive my car, but I think that my car is going to keep self destructing in a manner that will eventually lead me to be driving a vehicle with four wheels, two pedals, a steering wheel, maybe a seat and windshield if I'm lucky, but not much else.

(B 8`( Enough about my car already! On to bigger and more bad mood inducing things. The whine fest continues... I've been going through a very severe case of the "I miss yous". I have been depressed lately because I have all these great people in my life but I can never see any of them due to either distance (my car is NOT fun on a road trip) or my sucky work schedule. It's really quite pathetic. Its bad enough that my car prevents me from going to see my friends in b-town, but my work schedule also prevents me from hanging out with my friends and family in Indy. Its hard missing people, especially if you are insane like me and you are convinced that everyone you know is having a great time without you and will eventually have no memory of you whatsoever. Carrie? Carrie who?

(C ;0 I still hate my job with a passion but I cannot quit. Back in March I wanted to quit in April. In April I said I was only going to say until May. In May I decided that I am just going to have to suck it up and stay until I really can find a better job, if one actually does exist(highly doubtful). I should just be happy that I have a job with insurance and travel benefits (Vegas anyone?), but I can't. Oh yippie skippie! I get to drive thirty miles to work where I sit in a little fluorescent lighted cubicle and talk to people on the phone for eight hours. Joy of Joys! I get a thirty minute lunch, but if go over by thirty seconds I get a "severe talking to". Yay! I get yelled at for fifteen minutes by a guy who is pissed off because I cannot personally find his luggage for him, in Los Angeles. Hot Dog! Ah yes... four years of college, for what? I should have picked a more practical major than anthropology, like education or accounting or philosophy.

Here's the last few little reasons why my life sucks some serious ass right now:
a)somebody stole my favorite jeans, the replacement car radio that my cousin had given me, and my new pack of gum out of my car one night last week. Gum for Pete's sake!!
b)I caught pink eye from my sister. Nothing makes you feel more attractive than boogery, puffy red eyes.
c)I thought that I had made some serious headway getting my credit card paid off, but it turned out that there were $500 in pending charges from three months ago that finally showed up on my last statement. Somebody up there likes me!
d) I've fallen, and I can't get up....
Well, that ends my sublist of why I hate my life right now, but never fear, the Tantalizing Tidbits continue...

T.T. #4: There have been a few topics lately that I have wanted to write about, but they are a little too personal and emotional for the blog. Not to say that I don't have a sophisticated audience that can handle grown up topics dealing with complex emotions, but I just don't wanna be bustin' out all my shit, yo!, for anyone and everyone to read. Plus, nobody really wants to read all about my sappy emotions and crazy girl fears and doubts. It all would have been a little too "Dear Diary" for even me to stomach.

T.T. #5: The free time I have to sit down and write an amusing blog post has been greatly reduced due to the fact that I have been inundated with bridal showers, weddings, baby showers, engagement parties, and other things of that sort, that I find no time to write a blog post. Or if I did sit down and attempt to write something it would probably just be a lot of nonsensical ramblings about babies and china patterns, and bitching about how I wish I could bite the face off the next person who sidles up to me at one of these events and says, "So, when are you next; you're not getting any younger you know", in a smarmy singsong voice full of malice.

T.T. #6: As much as some people (such as the a-holes describes in T.T. #5) like to think that I have forgotten, I am extremely aware of that fact that yes, I am getting older. I am going to be 23 years old in less than three weeks, but I am dreading it. I think it is mainly because I am crazy and have had all of these preconceived notions about what my life would be like when I am 23. I have always felt like 23 was kind of a deadline age where I should have a plan for what I want to do with my life, live on my own, and possibly have a special someone. Unless the next three weeks prove to be completely life changing, I will accomplished exactly NONE of these things, and be right where I was when I turned 22. Although, when I turned 22 I was technically living on my own in Bloomington, I thought that I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and I did have all my amazing friends in the same town as me, so actually I was better off then than I am now. Sorry, this is getting really mopey, where's Morrissey when you need him? Oh well, I need to just accept my aging with grace and dignity and focus on the positives in my life... yeah, positives...hmmmm,

I'll have to think on that and then use it in my next post so that this sappy, depressing, never-ending post shall not be repeated. You want to know whats really sad? I have to whisper, come closer, whoa! not that close! okay, here goes... It actually took me an entire week to complete this post! Crazy huh? It says June 2, but really I finished it tonight, on good old June 9th. B.P.A. , its a sad disease.

Well,if you actually made it all the way through this post, I offer you my thanks and apologies. Cheers!

If You're a Glutton For Punishment, You Won't Want to Miss The Next Gut-Wrenching Episode:
"It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To" or "The Days of Whine and Roses"