About Me
- Name: Carrie
- Location: Denver, CO, United States
Unemployed and loving it! Every great ride has to come to and end and I need to figure out what to do when I get off this Ferris Wheel.
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A playground for my inner Ralph Wiggum.
Tuesday, March 9
"This is my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end."
Since it does seem standard policy to at some point in time use song lyrics in your blog, I figured this would be the perfect opportunity.
In a perfect world this blog would have a soundtrack provided by The Cure, Tears for Fears, The Smiths, and various other 80's mope-rock groups, its impossible but just try to use your imagination.
I need to enjoy all of the happiness in my life but I just can't ignore that unhappy aftertaste.
What's goin' on? Music always helps... lets explore... no lists, I promise. Put on One Hot Minute Ralph, track 2 please.
"My friends are so depressed
I feel the question
of your loneliness
Confide... 'cause I'll be on your side
You know I will, you know I will...
My friends are so distressed
And standing on
the brink of emptiness
No words... I know of to express
this emptiness."
That particular song (definitely not considered mope rock though) has been continuously running through my head for the past couple of weeks. Not the whole song, just those two verses. Those words really ring true for me, as they remind me of my life when I was going through different stages of the grieving process for my old college existence. I have currently progressed to stage 9 3/4, somewhere between "Familial Reconstruction" and "Toilet Paper Wars-> The Struggle for Success" *(see explanation below) but I can still relate to other recent graduates I know who are currently in stages 2-4: "Loneliness and Boredom", "I Am a Loser", and "What Happened to My Tolerance?"
These lyrics don't just apply to those of us moping our way through our post-graduate years, but also have significance to some of my friends who are really going through some tough times. They are faced with problems I don't know how to solve and tough decisions that no one should ever have to make. It is all very strange to me, because even though I have been in their exact situations before, I still don't know what the answer is. For example (back of course to the after-college doldrums) my friend called me crying one day saying that she hated her situation, her face, her body, her apartment, her life away from Bloomington, her sister, everything. All I could think of was to tell her that I knew exactly how she felt, that I'd been there for a while when I first moved home, and that things would get better eventually. I felt like crap giving her that weak-ass response, but I really couldn't remember what made me get past those early stages of grief and into stages 6 and 7: "I'm 17 Again Acceptance" and "Hey, Free Food, That's Kind of Cool", where things didn't seem quite as bleak and I cried a lot less.
It seems somewhat hypocritical, but its just hard for me to be completely happy when people that I care about are not. How can I expect other people to suck it up and enjoy their lives, when I can't enjoy my own? It's a vicious cycle. Uh oh... I feel myself slipping back into stage 8: "Questioning One's Life Choices and Aspirations (if any) Mixed With Some Mild Self Loathing", that one's a real bitch. I should probably just follow my own pathetic advise and just wait for things to get better.
You know, when I think about it I do have some pretty good things going for me (Mexican vacation with good friend, my amazing physics tutor at the Jewish Academic Center, ; ) I'm not Martha Stewart) and I really shouldn't let other people's sadness bring me down, or I'll never actually be a help to them. Did I actually come to a conclusion? Wow, fantastic. I'm feeling better already. Lets ditch the mope rock Ralph, put on some Stones! ..."You can't always get what you want... but if you try sometimes, you just might find... you get what you need."
Don't miss the next heart pumping thrill ride of an episode:
"10 Things I Hate About Me" or "Even (Urban) Cowgirls Get the Blues"
Oops! I just realized I forgot to explain *Toilet Paper Wars* and their significance in my life. From an Anthropological standpoint, toilet paper war could be seen as a struggle for dominance in an environment where two young adults, forced to cohabitate in the home of their parents, must share a bathroom. The battle begins when one of the two young adults leaves nothing but a meager scrap of paper on the roll, for the unsuspecting sister to encounter. The innocent human is then helplessly stranded and the feeble cries for help go unheard. This forces the unfortunate one to either drip dry of find some other less desirable means of wiping, causing much anger and resentment. The unfortunate victim then counter attacks by leaving the empty role on the spindle, knowing fully that the other will have expected them to have gotten a replacement roll, thus setting the perfect trap. Both parties will feign innocence, but in reality they are both thinking "I'll be damned if I'm gonna replace that toilet paper! She was the one who finished it off and I had to wipe with a Q-tip!" The war can rage on for days, usually only stopped when the mother will cause a cease fire by replacing the roll herself. In that case both sides are usually satisfied because no one technically surrendered. That's it we've got issues.
The horror....The horror...
Since it does seem standard policy to at some point in time use song lyrics in your blog, I figured this would be the perfect opportunity.
In a perfect world this blog would have a soundtrack provided by The Cure, Tears for Fears, The Smiths, and various other 80's mope-rock groups, its impossible but just try to use your imagination.
I need to enjoy all of the happiness in my life but I just can't ignore that unhappy aftertaste.
What's goin' on? Music always helps... lets explore... no lists, I promise. Put on One Hot Minute Ralph, track 2 please.
"My friends are so depressed
I feel the question
of your loneliness
Confide... 'cause I'll be on your side
You know I will, you know I will...
My friends are so distressed
And standing on
the brink of emptiness
No words... I know of to express
this emptiness."
That particular song (definitely not considered mope rock though) has been continuously running through my head for the past couple of weeks. Not the whole song, just those two verses. Those words really ring true for me, as they remind me of my life when I was going through different stages of the grieving process for my old college existence. I have currently progressed to stage 9 3/4, somewhere between "Familial Reconstruction" and "Toilet Paper Wars-> The Struggle for Success" *(see explanation below) but I can still relate to other recent graduates I know who are currently in stages 2-4: "Loneliness and Boredom", "I Am a Loser", and "What Happened to My Tolerance?"
These lyrics don't just apply to those of us moping our way through our post-graduate years, but also have significance to some of my friends who are really going through some tough times. They are faced with problems I don't know how to solve and tough decisions that no one should ever have to make. It is all very strange to me, because even though I have been in their exact situations before, I still don't know what the answer is. For example (back of course to the after-college doldrums) my friend called me crying one day saying that she hated her situation, her face, her body, her apartment, her life away from Bloomington, her sister, everything. All I could think of was to tell her that I knew exactly how she felt, that I'd been there for a while when I first moved home, and that things would get better eventually. I felt like crap giving her that weak-ass response, but I really couldn't remember what made me get past those early stages of grief and into stages 6 and 7: "I'm 17 Again Acceptance" and "Hey, Free Food, That's Kind of Cool", where things didn't seem quite as bleak and I cried a lot less.
It seems somewhat hypocritical, but its just hard for me to be completely happy when people that I care about are not. How can I expect other people to suck it up and enjoy their lives, when I can't enjoy my own? It's a vicious cycle. Uh oh... I feel myself slipping back into stage 8: "Questioning One's Life Choices and Aspirations (if any) Mixed With Some Mild Self Loathing", that one's a real bitch. I should probably just follow my own pathetic advise and just wait for things to get better.
You know, when I think about it I do have some pretty good things going for me (Mexican vacation with good friend, my amazing physics tutor at the Jewish Academic Center, ; ) I'm not Martha Stewart) and I really shouldn't let other people's sadness bring me down, or I'll never actually be a help to them. Did I actually come to a conclusion? Wow, fantastic. I'm feeling better already. Lets ditch the mope rock Ralph, put on some Stones! ..."You can't always get what you want... but if you try sometimes, you just might find... you get what you need."
Don't miss the next heart pumping thrill ride of an episode:
"10 Things I Hate About Me" or "Even (Urban) Cowgirls Get the Blues"
Oops! I just realized I forgot to explain *Toilet Paper Wars* and their significance in my life. From an Anthropological standpoint, toilet paper war could be seen as a struggle for dominance in an environment where two young adults, forced to cohabitate in the home of their parents, must share a bathroom. The battle begins when one of the two young adults leaves nothing but a meager scrap of paper on the roll, for the unsuspecting sister to encounter. The innocent human is then helplessly stranded and the feeble cries for help go unheard. This forces the unfortunate one to either drip dry of find some other less desirable means of wiping, causing much anger and resentment. The unfortunate victim then counter attacks by leaving the empty role on the spindle, knowing fully that the other will have expected them to have gotten a replacement roll, thus setting the perfect trap. Both parties will feign innocence, but in reality they are both thinking "I'll be damned if I'm gonna replace that toilet paper! She was the one who finished it off and I had to wipe with a Q-tip!" The war can rage on for days, usually only stopped when the mother will cause a cease fire by replacing the roll herself. In that case both sides are usually satisfied because no one technically surrendered. That's it we've got issues.
The horror....The horror...
